With restaurants in Islington, Spitalfields and Portobello Road, the now six strong S&M Cafe (The S stands for Sausage and the M for Mash...) chain seems to be targeting the Londoner who craves the ‘East end caff’ experience but isn’t really prepared to leave the relative safety of Zone 1 for it.
Having recently realised that the original S&M cafe on Essex Road was in fact Alfredo’s, the chosen hangout for Jimmy and his scooter-riding friends in Quadrophenia, I thought it essential that a visit was paid. The Portobello Road branch was suitably chosen for Saturday lunchtime with a two for £10 deal.
Located beneath the concrete colossus that is the Westway, the place looks every bit the West London mod hangout and inside the authenticity only improves. The heavily retro wallpaper works well with the framed vinyl and vintage film posters that hang from the walls beneath a cleverly angled period mirror.
We were shown to one of the many small wooden tables that give this particular S&M Cafe its own peculiar charm, with each table adorned with a grubby looking red and white check plastic table cloth and every conceivable condiment that ones heart (and pallet) could ever yearn for.
Two glasses of the house wine were ordered and quickly sent over to the table. Given the price that we were paying I was not expecting much from my small glass of red, which was rather lucky really given that it did indeed taste like it had been poured from a dark blue bottle marked ‘POISON’.
For the meat eaters amongst us the menu is food heaven with some fiendishly good bangers on offer, although with just two options to choose from vegetarians may wish to eat elsewhere. Pushing the sausage boat out, I went for the ‘Game Keeper’ of wild boar and pheasant sausages and parsnip mash.
Despite the restaurant now filling up rapidly, and a huddle of soon to be diners waiting by the door for a table to become available, the food arrived quickly and was still hot by the time it hit the table.
Whilst the sausages may have looked like they had been left in the pan slightly too long, ultimately they tasted fantastic, each one packing a unique and powerful flavour. The creamy parsnip mash was perfectly smooth and light, with the wholegrain mustard gravy aimlessly uniting the individual flavours.
On the veggie front things weren’t going quite so well however. Upon cutting, one of the sausages had a middle that was as green as the Wicked Witch of the West and tasted nearly as bad as it looked.
All in all however the S&M idea is a great one and for ten British pounds was just the sort of bargain that one would hope to pick up on the Portobello Road. I would expect more chains to open soon but so long as they keep the authenticity as they had here, then the sky’s the limit… Great British Grub indeed.
I was really looking forward to the Star Wars show and having visited your restaurant at the O2 my evening was spoilt. I was extremely disappointed and disgusted with the portions. I did not call the Sausage and mash, Good value for money, £9.50 for two small sausage and a couple of spoons full of "mash potato' more like Smash. Thats not what I call Great British Grub. It certainly was not enough to feed a man it was more like a child's portion. A Glass of House wine at £4.75 was the worst wine ~I have ever had not worth the money. The service was very poor, the drinks were delivered to our table wrongly, the food took an age to arrive and when asked if our meal was ok, my reply was "NO" but the waitress said I only asked if it was OK and went and served some one else. There is No customer service and I would never recommend your restaurant to anyone.
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